Tuesday, November 1, 2011

i haven't got a clue

its been quite stressful lately...there is lots of work...many more work opportunities but not enough hands to do it! i've been struggling to cope with it all and i haven't got a clue.

i have two part time tailors who work for me currently and two women who do the hand work for me, also part time. i think its time now for me to take the plunge and hire people full time, set up a small workshop and get serious. not that i haven't been serious about my work all this while...but i have not really taken a big risk money wise. what adds to the confusion is the fact that pune feels temporary...it will be close to 2 years in this city and gosh i still say it all the time!

mostly it is because my husband doesn't think he is here for the long haul. with the nature of the corporate jobs today...is anything permanent? does anyone arrive in a new city and say this is going to be my home from now on....does anyone feel the need to settle down anymore? what does settling in a city really mean today.....2-5 years?

i always wanted a nomadic lifestyle....living in a new city every 2-3 years and the  moving on. i was naive. i thought it will be fun all the way but it isn't fun now....and we have only just started! it is not so much the moving bit, but the thought looming over your every action that kills it.
so when i start thinking about work, home, furniture, anything....this is what goes on in my head:

"should i set up a workshop? but what if we move...will i do this all my life? set up shop and then move in a couple of years because my husband will/might get a better opportunity? what is a better opportunity?? oh foreign shores...that will be fun...but what about my work? what will i do in a new city/country? hey thats a beautiful side board...it'll be a wonderful addition to our kitchen....oh but what if we move into a smaller house in bombay? will it fit in then?"

so tell me then, what do you think? is it wise for me to set up a workshop now, here knowing that i might have to wrap it up in 6 months to a year? should i buy that side board for the kitchen, the two chairs for our living room and a better bed to sleep on?



Unknown said...

I know exactly what you mean!! To live constantly wondering how permanent your current home is, and how much you should invest in doing it up. But having shifted around a fair bit, i'll tell you this, there's no time like the present.. there's no point in living life in the waiting room. And if you have a permanent place anywhere (an ancestral home or parents or relatives who have their own place, you know you have some place to store big items that were either supremely expensive or that you have a lot of emotional attachment to, while you shift. It's the same thing with work and setting up your workshop. Don't live in a waiting room. You dont know what's going to happen in the future, and as long as you have a bit saved up for a rainy day, take the plunge. I really hope you do. All the best!

Miss Frangipani said...

I think you should do it, as well. Work out what is the worst that can happen should you move again. How much will you lose? If it's not a lot, then worry about it later! Do it now - you've already begun the journey, that's usually the difficult bit!

I like what Rave said 'Don't live in a waiting room'. I'm going to take inspiration from that as well.

Neha Gupta Khorwal said...

I think Rave has said everything in the most perfect & inspirational way.. I know exactly how it feels I am sailing in a similar boat the only big difference is (given the current UK market) my progress is very slow.. If I get more business & opportunity I would definitely set up a workshop so don't think too much and just go for it. The uncertainties will always be there but I am sure everything will fall into place..

Purvi said...

Well life is too unpredictable to allow for ifs and buts...I have gone through many such phases.
I opened up my boutique in ludhiana while I was in college. I knew I would get married and will eventually go away but I still did what I was really longing for.

After marriage I thought of pursuing an MBA in Bangalore while my husband was still living in Mumbai.. we had no idea that half way through my MBA he will get an oppurtunity in Dubai. WE decided t to take up the job but when I came here after finishing my studies I just couldnt find a good enough job which could do justice to my capabilities.

I was not happy but then this was the time I decided to pursue the artist in me and came up with the idea of selling wall art which would be unique yet affordable. I am in very initial phase of this venture but overall I am in a happy place because I am once again doing what my heart really desires.

Anyways Take Care :)

GB said...

Totally understand your pain! We've moved a lot too, and it was always fun while it was just the two of us, and also while the kid was young, but lately the moving has lost its charm. Anyhoo. I would definitely set up shop, hire more hands and expand the brand. The experience itself would be worth it Kanika. Like Rave said: there is no time like the present. If you can put in your heart and soul into something that makes you happy now, go for it.

Hold off on the sideboard if you're the type who gets attached to things (I do). However, if you find that you can sell off/give away/store furniture when you move, get it. (You might not move into a tiny Mumbai flat after all).

Hope this helped: just my two paisa worth! :)

Neha@ All things beautiful said...

Hey Kanika,

I totally heat you!

I was going to write a long note to you and tell you to live in the present and not worry too much about what's in store in the future...
And then, I read Rave's comment. She has conveyed exactly what I wanted to say...and in very nice words.
I have moved a lot and even today I wonder sometimes, whether we are in our current home for long...
In retrospect, I always feel that I should have bought things that I wanted to, even when we were in our apartment.
One should live in the present. There is always a way to deal with things when it's time for a change.
Wish you all the best!

Unknown said...

hello ladies!!!
thank you for so much encouragement and optimism!! i agree that the time is now and yes there is no point in waiting....i guess i have just always done that...waited for things to happen to me, and they have....all good things have come my way and so quickly...so that maybe the reason i have become reactive instead of being proactive! but yes i guess its time for me to take charge and stop worrying too much about the uncertainties of life...they will always be there no matter what:)

so beginning now....i am going to worry a little less and do a little more....:D

lots and lots of hugs!!!

Oishee said...

Opinion from a random blog reader- you should go ahead and get that bed and everything else you want. How can predict the future anyway. Don't waste time planning and postponing what you can do today. Even if you move, the furniture can go with you and your business will expand.

Ashutosh said...

Hi Kanika,

Even I have lived life in a flux for many years, so can relate to your dilemma. For me even buying books was something which I had to think about. Over the years have bought so many books and lost them that finally it has stopped bothering me. The same goes for my music collection (cassettes and cd's).

I believe that such kind of existence teaches us to "live light".

We all tend to accumulate a lot of material stuff over the years, which we start strongly relating to. And it often happens that the things around us take control of us. They start to bind us. We start to think of everything as bare essential for our survival, when even a few years back we had a blissful existence without their presence.

I would only suggest that as far as furniture goes, buy only things which have functional use, and when you decide to move they can either be shifted or be gifted to local friends without much heartburn.

And as far as vocational longing goes, try to find some working arrangement in which you do not end up investing big money. May be a rented place for getting a feel of running a business. And also a few like minded people whom you can partner with so that in case you move out, the business can still function on a partnership basis.

All the best.


blandina said...

I read your post with interest. Many, many years ago I moved into a house where I thought I would'n stay for a long time, so everything looked provisional and frankly quite uncared for. I stayed 20 years...
So my advise is do not settle for the provisional, make yourself 'at home' if only for 6 months.